So, we need to talk about plane etiquette. In a world where feathers are more easily ruffled, and tempers are quickly flared. It seems like a good time to find out how not to be that person.

I fly every week for work and have done so for the last 10 years or so. We have also been traveling for pleasure for 20 odd years. In that time, I have seen all these issues.

They may seem like small things if they happened on the ground. But in a compressed tube, 35 000 feet in the air, small things can quickly become big things.

Maybe the media is focusing on it more these days, but it seems like fights break out more often in the air than they ever used to.

So, let’s have a look at how you can avoid annoying your fellow passengers.

Phones

Now I admit, mobile phones can be handy. But I’ve never understood peoples desire to almost constantly be looking at their phone. If you’re one of those people then the least you could do, is to put it on silent mode.

Also, when the announcement says put your phone on flight mode. Then put it on flight mode. I’ve seen several cases where someone had to finish their phone call and was subsequently removed from the flight.

As much as this is amusing for all who witness it. It also means that the flight is delayed, as they must get their bags off before we fly. In a world of terrorism, they can’t allow unaccompanied bags on board.

Armrest

Evolution is working and humanity is getting taller and larger. Ironically, airline seats are getting smaller, and the legroom is disappearing.

To be fair, the prices for flights are a lot cheaper compared to 20 years ago. But we are traveling with a lot less comfort.

If you’re in the window seat, you have an armrest next to the window. Plus, you have the wall of the plane to lean on.

The person in the aisle seat has an armrest on the aisle to use. They also have the ability to get up and down out of their seat at will.

The person in middle owns both armrests next to them. That’s it. They own them. It’s not like they can rest on the wall. They can’t get up and down at will. The only thing they have during this flight is the armrests.

So let them have them.

Headphones

Headphones, earphones, air buds, ear buds. Whatever they’re called this week. The rule is, if they’re not on my head, then I shouldn’t be able to hear them.

It’s that simple.

If your device makes noise then it needs to go through headphones, or one of the derivatives previously mentioned.

Believe it or not, on a quiet aircraft in flight, there is already a fair bit of ambient noise. Just from the engines and wind noise etc. So, if people start adding their own tunes into this it starts to get pretty loud

It’s not good for your fatigue levels either. Wearing noise cancelling devices can help you have a much more relaxed and stress-free trip. So, make sure you use them.

Reclining Your Seat

Let me start by saying that I’m 6 feet 3 inches tall. Which these days seems to be only slightly above average height.

When I sit down in my seat, my legs are already up against the back of your seat. This is certainly the case in shorter domestic flights. But increasing the way it is on international flights as well.

If you recline onto me, we’re unlikely to become friends.

So, here’s the general rule. On flights under 3 hours, don’t recline at all. On flights over that time. Don’t recline during meal service. When meal service is over, and you’d like to recline. Let the person behind you know what you’re about to do.

Give them some warning. They may have drinks in front of them or be working on their laptop. At least let them get organised before you head back into their space.

Swap seats if possible

We were on a flight from Orlando to Los Angeles with 3 children, and our youngest suffers from airsickness. Not on every flight, but it’s always a possibility.

So, when the girl on the desk scattered our family from one end of the plane to the other, it caused some anxiety.

Not just for us, but no doubt for the adult, who finds themselves sitting next to an unaccompanied airsick 5-year-old.

So, if a family is trying to sit next to each other, try to be accommodating, if you can.

Otherwise, you may find yourself holding a sick bag for someone you don’t know.

Food

Airline food can be ordinary at the best of times. Apparently, it’s something to do with the altitude and air pressure.

I’m told that astronauts who are normally bland eaters, develop a bit of a taste for chillies and curries during the flights, but return to normal when back on the ground.

Even so, there’s no need for you to bring the most pungent dish you can make, onto the plane in your Tupperware container.

That smell is going right through the plane.

Increasingly these days, more and more people suffer with food allergies. Airlines spend a lot of time trying to come up with a menu that has the least chance of killing people.

So, if you crack open your satay, next to a person with a serious peanut allergy. Then things are about to head south. It’s not like they can leave the aircraft.

Conversation

A little light conversation on a plane can be nice. But you must know where the line in the sand is.

If the person next to you is wearing headphones, earphones, you know the rest. Then they are not up for conversation.

In a confined space like an aircraft, personal space must be respected.

Alcohol

I get it. You’re going on holiday. Time to unwind and let your hair down.

Lady Jacqueline and I always have a drink on the plane. Just one, to signal the start of the adventure.

But that’s where we leave it.

Because while you’re in the air with a decreased air pressure, alcohol works differently.

The alcohol can get into your blood stream much faster. So, the 2 drinks you have at home will feel like 4. And 4 drinks can have you committing breaches of many of the rules in this post

We were coming back from London on one flight during New Years Eve. During the lights out period, there was one clown who insisted on trying to sing Auld Lang Sine for about 4 hours.

And he wanted everyone else to join in.

I must admit the only time I smiled during this incident was when I saw him fall down the escalator at Perth airport, into a puddle of his duty free.

Nobody, and I do mean nobody, went to help him.

Don’t be this guy.

Socks and shoes

I’m sure you’ve seen the horror pictures floating around on the net. Showing bare feet protruding between seats, on top of headrests or out into the aisle.

This photo comes from Bored Panda.

What this shows, is that one person is happy and 300 people are not.

If fact. Click here to check out the Bored Panda photos of bad passengers.

You are used to your feet. You probably don’t think they smell. Everyone else disagrees.

If you are desperate, then just take your shoes off. This is as much for the comfort of other passengers as well as your own health.

When you head to the toilets, and you notice that the floor is wet. Just remember that there’s no inflight mopping schedule. That’s not water you’re standing in.

Do yourself a favour and keep something on your feet.

Get There On Time

Time is precious to everyone. That doesn’t mean that you should leave your run to the airport till the last minute.

At best, you hold up the flight, and there’s no room left in the overhead bins to stow your cabin bags.

At worst, you get to wave goodbye to your flight.

Get there early. Treat the airport as a part of you holiday and enjoy yourself.

Travel Light

As we’re speaking about cabin bags. Don’t overpack, and then stand there waiting for someone else to lift your bag into the overhead bin.

If you can’t lift it. Don’t bring it.

I am of course, excluding anyone with a physical condition that precludes them from lifting.

But if you decided that 20 kg in a cabin bag was fine. Or, you thought that 1 cabin bag was too limiting and you really need 4 bags to really fill the overhead bin.

Then you are one of those people.

If you then double down on this, by standing in the aisle with a line of people behind you, while you organize things to take out of your bag for the flight. Then you should have taken the train.

Planes are not for you.

Be Nice To The Aircrew

I could never be aircrew. Not in a million years. The crap they have to put up with is astounding.

I’m sure that within the first month on the job, I’d have found a way to get passengers off the flight. At altitude.

You don’t like your seat allocation. They didn’t allocate your seat.

You don’t like the food. They didn’t cook it.

You don’t like the airline rules about smoking or seatbelts. They didn’t write the rules. But if they want to keep their job, they have to follow them.

Jacqui and I start every flight by giving a box of chocolates to the crew. No expectations. Just, have a nice day, and share these with your friends.

A happy crew can go a long way towards a happy flight.

Keep Your Kids Under Control

If you are a new parent with an infant. Then none of this applies to you. Do your best. It’s hard. You have my sympathy.

Infants can’t tell you what’s wrong. They may have massive pain in their ears from the change in pressure, and it can be incredibly stressful for a parent to try and calm that child.

But.

If you have a 5-year-old that needs to let off steam by running up and down the aisle smacking all the seats on the way. Or just kicking the crap out of the seat in front.

Then that’s down to you.

Teach your kids right from wrong and keep some control over them. Decide which one of you is the adult, and who’s in charge.

Make sure that you bring enough distractions to keep them amused throughout the flight, and everyone will get along a whole lot better.

Don’t Pull On The Seat In Front

We’re descended from apes. I know that. But it doesn’t mean that you need to use handholds to swing your way through the cabin.

If the person in front of you is sleeping, and suddenly gets yanked backwards because you need to use the toilet. It’s no fun.

Push off on your own seat if you need to. But leave everyone else’s seat alone.

Hygiene

Everyone has their own smell. We can’t smell it, but it’s there.

Do yourself, and everyone around you a favour, and have a shower and brush your teeth before you head to the airport.

I’ve sat next to some guys in the past, who have just finished a long shift and gone straight to the airport.

With my eyes watering for the next 2 and a half hours.

Just. Don’t be that guy.

Final Thoughts

It seems more and more these days that society is regressing. So many people think that they are the most important person in the room. And people rarely take responsibility for their actions or behaviour.

Have self-respect, and a healthy level of self-esteem. But don’t be the 2-year-old that the whole world must revolve around.

Treat others as you’d like to be treated and you’ll be fine.

If you can think of any other points, or have some examples to share, I’d love to hear them.

If you’d like some more articles like this, then check these out.

24 Tips to survive a long-haul flight

25 Tips to survive at the airport

Cheers and happy travels